5 Skinny People We Hate
5. Keira Knightley – Like I don’t already feel bad enough about not being able to get chicks. I have to stare at this hot stick figure that I could bench press. If someone would force a sandwich down her throat she would be an angel.
4. Lance Armstrong – OK I get it, you are the best athlete in the world. I’m getting tired of seeing you everywhere talking about how fit you are. I’m most pissed that I can’t get one of those Live Strong bracelets on my wrist.
3. Bill Gates - Not only are you skinny, you are also filthy rich. If I had the money you had I would buy a time machine, go back in time when you were a teenager and stick your head in a toilet. (P.S. Please don’t destroy our site)
2. Shawn Bradley - Really Shawn? You are 14 feet tall, you somehow made it into professional basketball, yet you can’t gain 50 pounds so you don’t get dunked on by every player in the NBA? Here is something that worked for me, try the Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger at Jack in the Box jackass.
1. Gandhi - Now don’t get angry here people, he was a great man that preached peace and understanding. However he also started the skinny trend, I guarantee you back in his day you could have heard this on the streets “Man, that Gandhi looks awesome. I think I’m going to skip the desert” Thanks a lot.
October 23, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I would also add Paris Hilton to this list because, well…she’s Paris Hilton.
October 23, 2008 at 7:38 pm
What’s to hate about Ms. Hilton. I was wanting him to add the fat Olsen twin who killed the Joker but he didn’t.
July 5, 2009 at 1:12 am
Dessert is spelled with two “S’s”
And you hate Lance? He is fit… he had cancer… you have a fat ass… I think he wins.
July 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Suck it dude…Lance rocks!
August 4, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Wow. Seriously, wow.
Kiera Knightley envy I understand, along with skinny Gates and Shawn Bradley. But seriously- Ghandi and Lance Armstrong? Honestly now.
Ghandi fasted to motivate the English to see things his way. It’s the equivalent of ‘Hey, I’ll shoot myself if you don’t shut up and listen.’ I don’t think the intention was an extreme diet, and I seriously doubt anybody said, ‘Wow, look how sexily emaciated Mahatma’s gotten! God, what a sex bomb!’
Come on now.
And Lance Armstrong goes on about fitness because he RECOVERED FROM CANCER. That’s not about being skinny. That’s about not dying a horrible death AND going on to be a massive inspiration to… you know… everyone.
I hope to God this is a joke post. If not, you need a reality check.
October 18, 2009 at 6:19 pm
are u serious?
ghandi starved himself for a political statement. it has nothing to do with starting a skinny trend