Weekend Picks

Big weekend for the sports fan.  You had better enjoy this weekend to the fullest because there are absolutely no more sports on tv for months.  These picks are for entertainment purposes only.  Do not blame me when Luther is laying a pipe wrench to your kneecaps.  Here we go:

UFC: Penn vs GSP. This is the toughest fight to call in a long time.  GSP is heavily favored and should come in 15lbs larger than Penn.  If he can counter Penn’s jab, then it is going to be along night for BJ.  I’m hoping BJ can land a big shot and then submit the dirty Canadian.  I just do not see it happening.  GSP will take Penn down early and often and just overwhelm him with knees and elbows on the ground.  My prediction is GSP by ref stoppage in the 4th round.

Bonus pick.  Give me Clay Guida over Nate Diaz in what will be the most exciting fight of the night.  These guys will put on a show for three rounds but I see Guida winning a close decision.

Jennifer Hudson with the Over.  I have no idea who she is.  That is why she is going to sing the anthem as long as she possibly can.  The only concern is her cardio.  She does not appear to be able to take it much longer than 2 minutes but I think she sucks it up and delivers with a 2:14 anthem.  Easy money.

Take Santonio Holmes at 2/1 to be the first player to get arrested.  This will happen within 9 days after the Superbowl with a drunk and disorderly charge along with a minor weed possession.

Pittsburgh Steelers win easily.  The line is somewhere between 6 and 7.  It will not matter.  I see this being an easy victory for the Steelers.  The front 7 will stop the run while also putting pressure on Warner.  I would like for Warner to succeed but I see him turning the ball over at least 4 times with one going back for a TD.  The Steeler corners are not great but they will get safety help on LF, which will take him out of the game.  Do not under estimate the Cardinals’ defense but I think the Pitt defense and special teams turn this into a blowout.  My final Prediction.  Steelers 27 Cardinals 13

Super Broker Shuffle

How did this video escape me for the last 24 years?  Grocery brokers from the South in a rap video from 1985? Come on.  Why haven’t I heard of this?   I am guessing it is because rap music was illegal in the south until a few years ago.  You need to fight past the first 20 seconds and you will thank me.  I have not decided which rapper is my favorite.  I love Charlie Carlson throwin it down at :48 or Jesse Franklin pimping his nuts at 1:40.  I think my favorite part is thugged out James Falls telling you to go to hell at 2:43.  Make no mistake James Falls is not here to coo and cuddle.

Tony Romo Cheats

That didn’t take long.  Star Magazine is reporting that Tony went to a party with the kid E from Entourage and some nobody from the MTV show the Hills.  (Is that not the Axis of Douchebags?)  He ended up bringing the party back to Jessica’s house and banged a chic upstairs in Jessica’s bed.  Star does not say if Jessica was in the bed at the time. This could have been a failed menage a trois with a dumb chic that barely speaks English, let alone French.

I called Romo out for not showing any drive or leadership skills.  Romo, I was wrong.  You may not care about winning football games or the Super Bowl but when Jessica puts on 50 lbs look out.  You finally find something to care about.   You could have subtly told Jess to slow down with the cheese fries.  Maybe bring home a scale or something classy like that.  No, you did it the old fashioned way which is to bang another chic the moment she breaks a sweat while eating breakfast.  Where was that killer instinct in December when the Eagles destroyed you?  I don’t care.  You now have the eye of the tiger.  I can’t wait for training camp.  Troy Aikman never had this problem.  Go Cowboys.

Click here to see why he cheated.