Don’t mess with Wild Man

Just in case you ever want to rob the Wild Man’s Country Store in Hartsville, don’t mess with Kelly Simpson.  The Wild Man can take a lug wrench to the skull and still pop a cap in you.  Granted he tried to shot the guy in the face and ended up shooting 2 holes in his own window.  You still do not mess with Wild Man.  Let this be a warning.

Oscar Wrap Up

I actually did not watch the Oscars last night.  Megan Fox was not nominated for Chairman of the Board 2 so it really wasn’t worth watching.  The movie Slumdog Millionaire did win.  No, it was not the Pac Man Jones biopic.  It was about a kid that works in a call center and charms snakes or whatever.  Thank you India for finding something else to outsource.  Congratulations to Sean Penn who won for his portrayal of Justin Timberlake.  Nobody outside of Vermont has actually watched it but good job Penn.

The main thing that I got out of last night was that Toby Keith waited too late to introduce his fashion line.  The stars were way too uptight.  You did not see Meryl Streep in a dress with a dragon, pitbull or eagle stitched across the back.   Or Brad Pitt wearing a tuxedo with a rhinestone rattlesnake playing a banjo. Toby Keith will change things.   His line, TK Steelman, relies heavily on the folded straw cowboy hat, bandana, no shirt, and leather wrist bands.  It sucks that TK Steelman did not make it in time for the Academy Awards but luckily for me it will be out by prom season.  We did not have fashion designers like Toby Keith when I was in high school years ago.  This prom year may be my year.

Buffalo Jills Hit Iraq

The Buffalo Bills sent their cheerleaders (The Jills) to Iraq to visit the troops.  They did a great job cheering on the Bills to all of those Super Bowl victories in the 90s.  What better place to send them then to Iraq?  The girl in the above picture might try playing a little harder to get.  This isn’t the La Quinta lobby in Up State New York.  You are in freaking Baghdad.  Women in Iraq get their heads cut off for showing too much eyelash.  Unless, Uday or Qusay Hussein show back up, you might want to tone it down a little in the hotel lobby.  You don’t have to advertise like you are going out of business on President’s Day.  Just sit there with your legs crossed and guys will approach you.  Women at the Bunny Ranch are more modest than that.