Bagels

Oh, look that skinny bitch brought breakfast. Did she bring breakfast burritos? No. How about some nice bacon and eggs? Of course not. What about doughnuts? Everybody loves doughnuts. Hell No. She has an earth friendly paper sack that has whole wheat bagels. As an added bonus, you get to choose your favorite fruit or vegetable topping on this to make sure you get the taste of a something healthy in your mouth for the rest of the morning. How do you choose between flavors such as plain, tomato or pumpkin? Is it too much to ask for a tub of the shit they put on cinnamon rolls or maybe chocolate frosting? Could you at least spring for the butter flavored Crisco?

So now I have to put a yamaka on which makes my head look huge and fight through the line while the 130lb dudes debate on whether to eat half of the bagel or a quarter of it. Now it is my turn to look in the sack and I spot the one with the sesame seeds on top. Holy Shit. Maybe they put a double cheeseburger in the sack! Nope. Its something called a sesame seed bagel. Fatty gets fucked again.

😦

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One Response to “Bagels”

  1. Haas Hogan Says:

    OMG! Double Cheeseburger? Nope. Fatty gets fucked again.

    That might be the funniest thing I’ve read all morning.

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