and Old Strippers

Nobody understands the market conditions and economy like our friends at Bloomberg and it just so happens that I am a food stamp away from mugging you.  So I thought that I would head over to Bloomberg for some financial advice.  While most financial sites are discussing the market and the current sub-prime lending crisis, Bloomberg found time to interview Leigh Sogoloff, a 36-year-old stripper from Rick’s Cabaret in Vegas.  Really Bloomberg, a 36 year old stripper?  That equates in stripper math to a 104 year old woman shaking her ass for the rent. Guess what?  Ol’ Leigh’s not doing so well these days.  I’ve linked the hard hitting financial article below but I’ll save you the time.

Ladies, your husbands are now spending your McDonalds money on the 22 year old strippers instead of the old lady strippers like Leigh.  Poor Ms. Sogoloff only rakes 6 grand a month instead of the 30 large she used to earn.  That’s not a lot in the stripper world.   After cocaine, valtrex and taxes, we are talking around 500 bucks a month.  Screw her and thanks for nothing Mr Bloomberg.  Now I have no idea what to do with my mortgage with the 22.9% interest rate and my investment portfolio that has dropped 50% in the last 3 weeks.  Luckily, I can still eat pork-n-beans off of my Dale Earhnhardt collector plates so my portfolio is not at a complete loss.  As for any 36 year old strippers out there, please diversify your portfolios and manage risk appropriately in your RETIREMENT.


2 Responses to “ and Old Strippers”

  1. Are you assuming that strippers pay taxes?

  2. I demand a receipt for all lap dances so they better.

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