Halloween Costumes Not for the Fat guy

We’ve already gave you big guys costume ideas for Halloween. Nevertheless, just like W. some of you will insist on going at it unilaterally. As a service to our skinny-challenged readers, we are giving you the costume don’ts for the fat man. Please do yourselves a favor and stay away from these costumes.

Thanks to that fat jackass Al Gore, everybody wants to save the planet. You have limited options on this one. Drive the hybrid, use the annoying light bulb, or be a Superhero. Let’s explore the Superhero option for the fat man. You have two things that do not go with fat. The first is gravity. Spiderman swung around via the spider web. Superman could leap tall buildings. While you, Fattie, will crush the sidewalk in a single bound. So lets leave the acrobatics for Spiderman. The second thing that works against you is spandex. It’s really hard to hide your lovely man lumps in the spandex. We do not want to see Wendy’s floating around in your belly. Spandex is just not made for you. And no, Fatman that is not your Spidey senses tingling. It is the Biggie Combo you had for lunch doing battle with the Monster tacos you had as a snack.

Mary Kate Olsen

Again, this goes back to the superhero advice from above. Yes, she was rumored to have done what Batman never seemed to be able to do but you will not look good in a toddler- sized dress. I know that is harsh but it had to be said. Or maybe it didn’t have to be said but I said it anyway. Don’t try to skirt this advice by going as the fat twin either. Just leave this alone


Very few women can pull the purple assless one-piece suit off. Prince is 4’11 and weighs 73 pounds. He confuses people. You don’t have that luxury. When your friends suggested that you go as Prince, they meant Prince Fielder, the 350 lb first basemen and not the purple one. Just make the trip to Sports Authority and get the Brewers uniform. True, you can dump your Mcdonald’s quicker with the assless pants but just trust us on this one.

Andy Reid

He probably should have been one of the costumes for the Big Guy edition but there is a reason for this. Andy Reid is a fat loser. His costume would be easy to do. Grow a mustache that would make the BTK killer proud, wear an oversized Eagle jacket, don’t parent your kids and put on your Super Bowl rings. Back that up. Don’t worry about the Super Bowl rings. Your fat fingers have no need for that. Just stay away from this loser.


12 Responses to “Halloween Costumes Not for the Fat guy”

  1. You're and idiot Says:

    Maybe you should do some fact checking dueschbag. Andy Reid actually has a super bowl ring from Green Bay. And last time I checked the Eagles are in the top 5 in wins since 2000. But I guess it’s easy to judge when you run a half -assed website which just points fingers. Get a life

  2. Dear You’re and Idiot,
    Not sure if I’m talking to You’re or Idiot or both of you but the last time I checked it was Mike Holmgren who was the Head Coach of the Packers when they won the Superbowl. They do look alike. I could care less who the assistants were. Maybe we can get him a top 5 wins since 2000 ring.

    We appreciate the two of you for commenting and look forward to your sexy Halloween pictures.

  3. Concerned Human Says:

    Ease up there braintrust…I understand where you’re is coming from. I don’t understand idiot’s point

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  5. ur a dick Says:

    Ur a fag

  6. ur a dick Says:


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  8. Drew Nickel Says:

    A Super Bowl ring is a super bowl ring u dumb bitch. Assistants get rings too, dumb ass. Are u a chick or something? Stupid cunt, your website is corny as fuck

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  10. Janet Nelson Says:

    Uhh, Prince is 5 foot 2 inches tall and approximately 120lbs lol, not 4’11” and 73lbs

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