Native American Thanksgiving
People stop me all the time to see how excited I am that Thanksgiving is only a few days away. Many people believe that I should love a holiday based purely around eating until you collapse. Big freaking deal. That is pretty much everyday for me so I really do not need the government to give me a day off to do it. What many of you do not realize is that I have about 50lbs of what you call Indian blood trying to circulate through my veins. That changes things doesn’t it smartass. Now ask me again, how I like Thanksgiving without that smirk.
Thanksgiving to my people is nothing more than a day of mourning. Here is a little history lesson they didn’t teach you in school. You did not share anything with us. Do you honestly think that you could chase down and kill a turkey while you are dressed like a door to door life insurance salesman? Your people were starving to death with your stupid hats and belt buckles. We brought all the turkey, dressing, corn, salads and pies. You came over to our land and ate our food while watching the Lions get their asses kicked. What did you bring? I can’t remember. Oh, that’s right. You bought small pox and some deeds to the most worthless land in Oklahoma, which is the worst place on earth. Thank you for sharing all of that with my people. We also really appreciate you making this a holiday to give us a day off to remind us to give thanks. Enjoy your turkey.