Native American Thanksgiving


People stop me all the time to see how excited I am that Thanksgiving is only a few days away.  Many people believe that I should love a holiday based purely around eating until you collapse.  Big freaking deal.  That is pretty much everyday for me so I really do not need the government to give me a day off to do it.  What many of you do not realize is that I have about 50lbs of what you call Indian blood trying to circulate through my veins.  That changes things doesn’t it smartass.  Now ask me again, how I like Thanksgiving without that smirk.

Thanksgiving to my people is nothing more than a day of mourning.  Here is a little history lesson they didn’t teach you in school.  You did not share anything with us.  Do you honestly think that you could chase down and kill a turkey while you are dressed like a door to door life insurance salesman?  Your people were starving to death with your stupid hats and belt buckles.  We brought all the turkey, dressing, corn, salads and pies.  You came over to our land and ate our food while watching the Lions get their asses kicked.  What did you bring?  I can’t remember.  Oh, that’s right.  You bought small pox and some deeds to the most worthless land in Oklahoma, which is the worst place on earth. Thank you for sharing all of that with my people.  We also really appreciate you making this a holiday to give us a day off to remind us to give thanks.  Enjoy your turkey.


13 Responses to “Native American Thanksgiving”

  1. I feel really sorry for you. The first Thanksgiving was, I suspect, pretty one-sided. I’m sure the Indians did most of the giving.
    But to rant about something as if it were last week, puh-leese.
    If you feel bad about the 50 extra pounds you are carrying, rant about that. It has more to do with today than an old tradition (that mercifully), you had nothing to do with.
    I hope you get the therapy you desperately need.

  2. Concerned Human Says:

    I totally agree, you really should get over your Indian angst. I bet you aren’t even really Indian.

    Go get drunk and scalp something loser.

  3. Well, the good news is that you can lose 5 or 10 pounds following a Thanksgiving meal provided you opt for the dessert option that includes prunes. I’ve often had moral compunction about feasting on a day that meant so much misery for so many people, but, truth be told, nobody can keep a negative thought in mind while enjoying that special catharsis that comes with a nice satisfying dump.

  4. i side with the native americans…. by the way the natives found columbus. they wernt lost . he didnt discover anything . but he lead to the destruction of their land, and lives.

  5. Wow MaryLouise. You can get back to telling midgets to grow up and handicapped people to walk it off. Thank you for the hillbilly psychological advice. Those years on Dr. Phil’s couch weren’t a total waste.

  6. Concerned Human Says:

    Get over it Indian, don’t you have a “Totanka” to kill or a wolf to dance with?

  7. Yeah, I’m really sorry for what happened to your ancestors, but you need to move on. You’re talking about something that happened 400 years ago. Let go and move on.

    I’m a latino by the way — you know the “other” indians screwed by Europeans south of the border. But we’ve forgotten and moved on. Our lives are not defined by something that happened 400 years ago…

  8. At least they gave you Mexico. We got the crappy state of Oklahoma.

  9. Why is it so easy to tell the NATIVE Americans To “get over it!”? I never hear anyone to tell the Blacks to “get over it”.

  10. I have some native blood in me from a ways back, but I also am a decendent of william bradford- the dude that came up with the idea for thanksgiving, and i personaly couldn’t care less about the holiday-

  11. While you idiots are at it why don’t you tell the Jewish people to get over it too. The U.S. has systematically employed genocide to build “the greatest country on earth” as evidenced in the slaughter of millions of native Americans. This country is going to hell because of greed and coruption, the exact opposite of how native American people’s shared freely. I am part Canadian Cree and embarassed to be recognized as a white American when I read comments such as this. It’s true the author could use more tact, but his words are true.

  12. BTW, Ikaruga, Latinos are the descendants of Spain, another of the most cruel and powerful nations at that time. You should never forget your ancestry. The mistakes of the past are always repeated when we forget.

  13. nuu savi Says:

    Well we did not get mexico, the whites and mixed did, my people are still struggling to make a decent living on what’s left of their own land. I agree with you indian brother, why forget about something that happened 400 years ago? because of that you guys got the crappy land, because of that lots of our brother tribes live in reservations. And no its not easy to leave a reservation, that’s where you grow up and that’s all you know, now tell us to forget about it, In Mexico they pushed us to the suburbs and to the mountains, I am indian I know. so now tell me to forget what happened mr. I am Latino we forgot about it, no we did not.

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