Holiday Movie Review

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Like most Americans, I have a little time off and would like to catch a nice uplifting movie for the holidays.  Have you seen the crap that Hollywood is throwing at us these days?  Oh look, a digital cartoon about an animal.  I get it Disney.  You can make a movie for 300k and make a billion.  I have zero interest in sitting in a movie theater packed with kids and creepy dudes without kids.  That leaves me with three choices which I’m not going to bother to see but I will review for you anyway.

The Valkyrie starring Tom Cruise.  Do they seriously think people will rush out to see that freak?  I can see the studio execs trying to get somebody to root for him.  Should we have him fight Hitler, Katrina or Osama?  The last thing I want to do is see a Christmas movie about Adolph.  No offense Maverick, but I should not have to think about who to root for when Hitler is involved.  Hitler ends up beating you anyway so why do I want to see a movie in which Hitler comes out on top.  Two Big Thumb Stomachs down.

Seven Pounds No, this is not the story of Rosie’s morning dump.  This involves the other Scientologist, Will Smith, who is about to throw his career away.  Seven pounds is about a dude that accidentally kills seven people and then plans his suicide the entire movie.  If I really want to watch this crap, I will follow around a Detroit Lions season ticket holder for a day.  That is what I really want to do with my ten bucks and 2 hours.  Jazzy Jeff has a better future than Will Smith.  Two Thumb stomachs down.

Yes Man On the plus side it stars Zooey Deschanel who is pretty hot.  On the downside, it stars Jim Carrey.  He has done the same character to death.  I guess people like that.  You can go to any meth house in town and see the same character.   At least it is not depressing like the other two.  Carey is dating Jenny McCarthy who I am kind of sick of right now.  Jenny lets not forget that you did not go to medical school.  You were Playmate of the Year just like Anna Nicole.  Get over yourself and get back in Playboy.  I’ll give this One Thumb Stomach down.

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One Response to “Holiday Movie Review”

  1. I think I would rather see a movie about Rosie’s morning dump

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