2008 Loser Of The Year
Our next category is the 2008 Loser of the Year. This was a tough category to narrow. We have so many losers to choose from but I have managed to give you the very worst. Here are the nominees for the 2008 Loser of the Year.
- Starbucks – A rough economy and the fact that McDonalds taught their employees to pour water into a machine spells doom for the $5 cup of coffee. Nice run while it lasted.
- Jessica Simpson – You date a loser who is a douchebag. Your sister replaced you on the covers of entertainment magazines by becoming hotter than you through tons of plastic surgery and getting banged by an emosexual. You put out a country music album that nobody cares about and you may be in fact legally retarded. Go away.
- The City of Detroit – Where do we start? The Lions, GM, Ford or Matt Millen. Millen is actually a winner as he is still cashing 10 million worth of checks. I am rooting for the factory workers but your bosses need to learn how to beg for money. You do not ask your boss for a raise while showing up in a limo and dressed in a tux. On the plus side, the price of an ounce of crack is going down.
- Hillary Clinton – Tough year for her. The democrats wanted no part of her. Obama made her his secretary. She set fashion back 35 years. Tape your damn ankles and wear some high heels. Monica wore a skirt and so can you. Lighten up a little too.
- Brett Favre – Walked away from millions from the Packers to go throw interceptions with the Jets. Should have just walked away.
The winner is……
The City of Detroit. It looks like you finally didn’t lose something. You are now the 2008 Loser of the year. Please do not riot after reading this.