Archive for January, 2009

Weekend Picks

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Big weekend for the sports fan.  You had better enjoy this weekend to the fullest because there are absolutely no more sports on tv for months.  These picks are for entertainment purposes only.  Do not blame me when Luther is laying a pipe wrench to your kneecaps.  Here we go:

UFC: Penn vs GSP. This is the toughest fight to call in a long time.  GSP is heavily favored and should come in 15lbs larger than Penn.  If he can counter Penn’s jab, then it is going to be along night for BJ.  I’m hoping BJ can land a big shot and then submit the dirty Canadian.  I just do not see it happening.  GSP will take Penn down early and often and just overwhelm him with knees and elbows on the ground.  My prediction is GSP by ref stoppage in the 4th round.

Bonus pick.  Give me Clay Guida over Nate Diaz in what will be the most exciting fight of the night.  These guys will put on a show for three rounds but I see Guida winning a close decision.

Jennifer Hudson with the Over.  I have no idea who she is.  That is why she is going to sing the anthem as long as she possibly can.  The only concern is her cardio.  She does not appear to be able to take it much longer than 2 minutes but I think she sucks it up and delivers with a 2:14 anthem.  Easy money.

Take Santonio Holmes at 2/1 to be the first player to get arrested.  This will happen within 9 days after the Superbowl with a drunk and disorderly charge along with a minor weed possession.

Pittsburgh Steelers win easily.  The line is somewhere between 6 and 7.  It will not matter.  I see this being an easy victory for the Steelers.  The front 7 will stop the run while also putting pressure on Warner.  I would like for Warner to succeed but I see him turning the ball over at least 4 times with one going back for a TD.  The Steeler corners are not great but they will get safety help on LF, which will take him out of the game.  Do not under estimate the Cardinals’ defense but I think the Pitt defense and special teams turn this into a blowout.  My final Prediction.  Steelers 27 Cardinals 13

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Super Broker Shuffle

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

How did this video escape me for the last 24 years?  Grocery brokers from the South in a rap video from 1985? Come on.  Why haven’t I heard of this?   I am guessing it is because rap music was illegal in the south until a few years ago.  You need to fight past the first 20 seconds and you will thank me.  I have not decided which rapper is my favorite.  I love Charlie Carlson throwin it down at :48 or Jesse Franklin pimping his nuts at 1:40.  I think my favorite part is thugged out James Falls telling you to go to hell at 2:43.  Make no mistake James Falls is not here to coo and cuddle.

Tony Romo Cheats

Posted in Douchebags with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 28, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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That didn’t take long.  Star Magazine is reporting that Tony went to a party with the kid E from Entourage and some nobody from the MTV show the Hills.  (Is that not the Axis of Douchebags?)  He ended up bringing the party back to Jessica’s house and banged a chic upstairs in Jessica’s bed.  Star does not say if Jessica was in the bed at the time. This could have been a failed menage a trois with a dumb chic that barely speaks English, let alone French.

I called Romo out for not showing any drive or leadership skills.  Romo, I was wrong.  You may not care about winning football games or the Super Bowl but when Jessica puts on 50 lbs look out.  You finally find something to care about.   You could have subtly told Jess to slow down with the cheese fries.  Maybe bring home a scale or something classy like that.  No, you did it the old fashioned way which is to bang another chic the moment she breaks a sweat while eating breakfast.  Where was that killer instinct in December when the Eagles destroyed you?  I don’t care.  You now have the eye of the tiger.  I can’t wait for training camp.  Troy Aikman never had this problem.  Go Cowboys.

Click here to see why he cheated.

Telemundo Reporter: Inez Sainz

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 28, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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After the overwhelming response from yesterdays report on Mireya Grisales  (Click Here),  I wanted to provide equal time to Inez Sainz.  She is the sports reporter from Telemundo.  When you look like her, you can just carry around a tape measure.  Poor Robin Roberts is somewhere trying to land an exclusive with the grounds crew.  While Ms. Sainz is interviewing any player she wants.  I’m not sure why we have not figured this out in America.  God Bless Telemundo.  Here is a bonus pic of Inez because it is Super Bowl Week.

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Azteca Reporter: Mireya Grisales

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Once again, we have to let Mexico show us how to do things.  That young lady at Media day is Mireya Grisales.  She is the sports reporter from either Azteca or Telemundo.  You probably did not recognize the fact that she is a journalist because she is not dressed like the American sports reporters.  In Mexico, they keep things very simple.  Take a good look.  You have high heels, a mini skirt, and a half shirt.  The kneepads and the number 69 are thrown in for the slower viewers.  You get the idea.  In America, we have our women reporters dress as if they just closed a real estate deal for Century 21.  They lower their voices just to make sure you don’t get the wrong idea about their integrity.  Who is a bigger hit during media day?  (1) Michelle Tafoya drilling a back up guard about blitz pick ups or (2) Mireya Grisales just bouncing around.  I think I’ll go with numero dos on that one.

(Click Here) for Telemundo Weather girls

Next Cowboys Coach?

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , on January 27, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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I know this is Super Bowl week.  Why am I talking about girl’s basketball?  Nobody gives a damn about the WNBA but girl’s high school may finally generate some interest.  Many of you have heard about The Covenant School beating Dallas Academy 100-0 last week in a girls high school basketball game.  What makes this even better is that The Covenant School is a private Christian school and Dallas Academy has a total of 20 girls in the entire school with 8 on their team.  Dallas Academy specializes in students with learning disabilities.  If you are ever going to show mercy on a team, Dallas Academy is the team you call off the dogs.  Covenant coach Micah Grimes would have made both OJ and Michael Vick proud.  Not only did he keep his foot on the throat, he refused to apologize after the game.  He was also fired on Monday.  I guess it is now unacceptable to run a full court press when you are up 59-o at the half.  Or is it?

I know these are 16 year old girls with learning disabilities but Grimes showed me something.  Do you think Wade Phillips would have kept the pressure up at 82-0?  He does not have that kind of killer instinct.  Micah Grimes humiliated a group of 16 year old girls while coaching a Christian school.  Think what he would do to the Giants if he had totally control of the Dallas Cowboys.  We need a coach that will go for the throat and is not scared to traumatize a girls high school team to get his respect.  Sorry Wade.  I found your replacement.

Supersized Simpson

Posted in Music Industry with tags , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Wow.  While Tony Romo is choking playoff games, his girl is choking down Big Macs.  That person in the picture above is not Meatloaf.  That is the girl who ruined the Cowboys season with a little help from her douchebag boyfriend.  I do not know where to start on this one.  First, people will not notice your giant tits when you have a beer gut bigger than a dude that installs mufflers.   Second, why in the hell are you wearing two belts?  Those granny elastic waisted pants are going nowhere.  Two belts are a bit much.  You are dating the QB of America’s Team not Jared.  Get yourself together.  Talk to Kige Ramsey about catching Anorexic.  (Click Here)

I’m not trying to be mean.  I hated the no talent retard when she was skinny.  This is a wake up call for you Romo.   If this does not make you leave that idiot to concentrate on winning a freaking playoff game, then I don’t know what will.  Do the right thing.