Jared is back

subway_jared

There is not a single fat person who hasn’t heard of the Legend of Jared.  I thought he finally went away but Subway is now back to using that douchebag.  I’m going to put this in the most simplistic terms for you clowns to understand.  Jared is the laziest fat person in history. Period.  The only reason he lost weight is because he was too damn lazy to drive down the street to McDonald’s.  If Wendy’s moved next door to him, he would dress out at 800 lbs.  Instead, his lazy ass would walk next door to Subway and eat that crap.  Honestly, how can your spokesperson be a guy who did nothing other than slowly starve himself to death.  This just tells me that your food is crap Subway.  A guy that eats himself to 425lbs cannot enjoy your food enough to gain weight by eating it.  Think about it Subway.  He hated your sandwiches so much that he lost 250lbs.  You suck Subway.  I would respect Jared’s weight loss if he went on the Biggest Loser and not eat crap that sucks.  Lose weight like a man Jared.

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3 Responses to “Jared is back”

  1. There was speculation that he was dead, but he’s still alive and kicking. Personally, I love the guy 😛

  2. That hoagie is bigger than his head…is that a batch on his face? wtf?

  3. Wow, you seen his evil from a mile off!

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