Archive for March, 2009

Bruce Willis is better than you

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , on March 26, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

bruce

Bruce Willis finally got his revenge.  He’s been putting up with all of those stupid you got punked jokes for the last five years.  The guy has handled the entire Ashton/Demi thing with class.  He just set back and took it all in and said nothing.  This weekend Bruce Willis got his revenge.  Take a look at Emma Hemming.  He pretty much picked her out of a modeling agency, casted her in his movie and married her.  That is how you do it Ashton.  She’s 30 years old and smoking hot and he’s 54.

Don’t get me wrong.  Demi Moore looks great for her being in her 50’s.  She’s also a cheap date as you can get the Senior discount at Denny’s.  Too bad you have to eat dinner at 4:00 pm.  The greatest part is that Ashton is also raising the teenage daughters for Bruce while he is hitting that.  You really punked him Ashton.

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March Madness Picks

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

hoops

There is nothing I hate more than the experts and jackasses in your office scrambling to see who is playing this year and then giving you their picks.  Ask them to name 5 college basketball players.  I will bet money they can not name two.  That being said I can name 3 players and one of them is named the white guy from North Carolina.

Here are my picks for today.  In the early games,  I will take the North Carolina Tarheels to beat the crappy school that nobody cares about by about 50 and then have UConn ass rape the Tennessee-Chatahoga by 60+.  The rest will be early scares but the favorites should win in all of them.  Don’t be tempted on BYU.  (Spoiler Alert) They are all white.

As for the Final Four.  Give me Pittsburgh, Carolina, Memphis and Lville.  Yes, it is boring.  I like Pitt over Memphis in the finals.  I searched for at least 10 minutes looking for a hot Pitt cheerleader for the article and as you can see I had to improvise.  Yes Kentucky, I know the girl is holding a football.  Leave me alone.  If anybody can find a hot pic of a Pitt cheerleader that does not look like the offspring of Dan Marino, please send it to me.  That guy must have ran through half the women in college.

Keep coming back.  I will somewhat live blog the games this week.  Let me hear who you got.

All Knowing Review

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , , on March 14, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

nicolascage1

Nicolas Cage plays a MIT professor with Tourettes (Why?) who discovers a piece of paper full of numbers that allows him to predict major disasters in the movie Knowing.  The trailer shows the world exploding so I guess he does not figure it out in time.  Sorry…I left out Spoiler Alert before typing that last sentence.   But I really did not watch this movie and will never see it so my review is just based upon all of the other crap movies that Hollywood is throwing at us and my ability to see the future.

Keeping in the spirit of Knowing, let’s see if you can figure this number sequence out:  8.50 5.25 6.75 20.50.  That is the cost of a ticket, coke, pop corn and total amount wasted on this crap.  Cage will play the exact same “intense” character he plays in every movie except this time they throw in math.  Most of this country is too stupid to give me the correct change at McDonalds so they have nailed the target audience of nobody.

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It is Raining Again

Posted in Police Beat with tags , , , , , , , on March 7, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

pacman

I’m too upset to comment on the TO release but I did find some encouraging news.  Former Cowboy Pac Man Jones rained down an ass whipping on some scrub during the filming of Pros vs Joes.  I am assuming that Pac is on the Pros side but you never know.  According to random internet reports, he lost it when a guy hit him out of bounds.  Why do people always screw with him.  Pac is always in game shape and ready to go.  It doesn’t matter if you are an off duty cop assigned to protect him, a lazy stripper who wants her 25 bucks after going through the motions to a Nine Inch Nails song or just some random dude that blocks his sight line to the main stage.  Pac Man will go off.  I am really ready for him to come back when the Cowboys need that extra db after TNew pulls his hammy for the tenth time next season.  Don’t let up Pac Man.

Watchmen Trailer

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , on March 6, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

I am not a comic book geek but I do have interest in the new Watchmen movie.  No idea what it is about or who is in it.  I assume they are a group of crime fighters.  Here is a nice clip of two of the watchmen.  You get a drunken Adam West aka Batman and wrestling great Jerry “The King” Lawler.  I’m still confused by all of this.

Biba Golic

Posted in Sports with tags , , , on March 5, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

bibagolic

I’ll be the first to admit that I really do not care about women’s sports.  Sure Anna Karakova or whatever her name was had a nice run in tennis but was she really that hot?  It is not that hard to stand out against Martina Navratralova, Billie Jean King and the Williams Brothers.

Biba Golic may change the perception of women’s athletics.  I first discovered her during the ESPN commercial that never stops but I think she has something.  More important is the fact that I think she is also a real person.  Sure her sport is played mainly in garages and YMCA basements but it technically is still a sport.  I imagine ESPN2 will be covering ping pong this summer.  Is ping pong politically correct or is it table tennis?

Deuce Doesn’t Beat Big City Prices

Posted in Financial with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

deuce-mcallister-cars

Former New Orleans Saints running back Deuce McAllister filed for bankruptcy today because he owes Nissan 6.6 million.   For some idiotic reason Deuce thought it would be a good idea to invest 6 million in a car lot in Mississippi.  No offense to my friends in the South but are you really ready for a car dealership?  I’m betting that the handful of people who drive cars in Mississippi choose between a Ford F150 or the  Chevy Truck.  Nissan’s just do not handle well on dirt roads.    Note to Deuce.  You may also want to close your Yacht dealership in Kentucky and your Gulfstream showroom in Kansas.  While you are at it, the people of Iowa do not need that uppity Wendy’s you built.  Just put your money in your savings account or invest in your rims.  Stop being the Donald Trump of Mississippi.