Archive for April, 2009

Free Hugs vs Deluxe Hugs

Posted in Douchebags with tags , , , , , , on April 28, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Take that hippy.  Nobody wants you awkwardly groping them for free.  We are still a capitalistic country in which we prefer to pay for things.  I’m afraid he made more in the last hour than 99% of the people who just wasted their time reading this.  This could be a sign the economy is returning or people are just desperate for human contact.  Not really sure.

New York Jets Draft Blunders

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

The 2009 NFL Draft is this weekend.  This is a great time if you are a football fan.  You can forget about your team choking in front of a third rate team in a forth rate state with fifth rate fans four months ago in Philly.  It is a great tradition to put aside the yard work.  Ignore your family and just sit on the couch and gaze at Mel Kipers’ helmet head for 9 hours.  To get you ready and in the right mindset, I have added the New York Jets draft blunders.

It is amazing that this franchise hasn’t won a Super Bowl since the 1960s.  Actually, it is pretty much to be expected.  You draft Ken O’Brian instead of Dan Marino.  Kyle Brady instead of Warren Sapp.  Blair Thomas instead of Emmitt Smith.  Dave Kadigan instead of Michael Irvin.  Two tight ends and a full back later you have nothing to show for this.  The sad thing is that if you just let your own fans up in the nose bleeds run your draft, you’d probably have three Super Bowls.  Sure, they have bad mustaches and terrible grooming habits but you cannot tell me these guys wouldn’t pull a Pro Bowl player out every round.

Here is my pick for you Jets fans.  Rey Mauluga LB USC.  He should be there at 17 and he will light people up for the next 7 years.

Greatest Business Card Ever

Posted in Financial with tags , , , , , , on April 15, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

I realize that most who come to this site have probably never seen a business card and probably have no idea why people use them.  I will try to explain it to the fine people of Kentucky.  A business card is similar to your mom writing her name and number on the Texaco men’s bathroom wall except it conveys a little more class then that.  I have brought the world’s greatest infotainer, Joel Bauer, on board to explain the proper use of the business card.  Enjoy.

The Curse is over

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Harry Caray Statue Goat Curse Dead

I’ll admit that I was a bit nervous watching Kevin Gregg close and Derek Lee struggle to bat Karen Carpenter’s weight.  Not anymore.  I would like to thank the ghost of Harry Caray for finally putting an end to this ridiculous curse.  Hopefully, they found an open flame to finish that goat off once and for all.  Go Cubs Go.

Worst Boxer Eva

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , on April 6, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

HBO is running a documentary about the Ali-Frazier Thrilla in Manila fight this Saturday.  There has been plenty said about it so I want to move on and highlight Sutherland/Rainford I.   Brian Sutherland was a self described street fighter from South Carolina.  After seeing this pathetic display, I’m pretty sure he is doing his own dishes and picking up after himself.  Even Rihanna would probably not be scared to tell him he missed his exit on the interstate.  You would think that a state like South Carolina could put out a few decent street fighters.  I’m calling the people of South Carolina out.  What do you have to say for yourselves?

(Editors note. This fight video has circulated around the internet.  I am the one person who went the extra mile and found the English version.  Don’t be fooled by the cheap ripoffs in which they speak Canadian.)