ESPN: Outside the Lines

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What a boring day in the sports world.  Some 90 year old man loses the British Open which proves what a “sport” it is.  I’m stuck watching Denise Richards try to convince people that she’s not a pain in the ass on E and failing miserably.  The Espys are on which are about as relevant as winning best kiss in the MTV movie awards.  The Espys?  This is nothing more than a excuse for guys to wear purple suits and convince the wife that they have to be in Vegas for an awards show.  I’d rather watch a 24 year old porn star win a lifetime achievement award in the AVN awards.

I think the whole thing that soured me is that the nations sports network just violated every code known to man.  Outside the Lines obtained a video from the night Pacman Jones decided to make it rain. Rappers,  NFL players, NBA players and a few WNBA girls were just throwing 10 grand in ones on the ground like it was confetti.  Strippers were on their hands and knees like little kids picking up candy from candy from a pinata.  Women in America can’t handle that.  They need to know that their old man only drops 20 bucks and isn’t really having a good time.  The only thing that saved the night were the strippers.  The girls on stage had a build like Jim Belushi.  I’ve seen skinnier girls going for 7ths at a Golden Coral buffet.  They just destroyed the myth of stripper aerobics.  That may be your saving grace ESPN.  Remember your demographic.  The next grainy video I want to see is the Erin Andrews peephole video.  Do us a service ESPN.

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One Response to “ESPN: Outside the Lines”

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