Archive for September, 2009

Khloe to Wed

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Many people on this very website criticized me for pointing out that Khloe was a large human being.  Well it looks like I am now vindicated.  I would have suggested for her to either mix in some stripes or camouflage but she took it to the next level.  Why change your wardrobe when you can marry a 6’11 260lb Lamar Odom?  They look really happy and I must say that she looks really good.  She should remove all of the pictures floating around of her and her sisters.  I think these two will make a great couple.  I’ve also heard that Al Davis has already traded another number one draft pick to the New England Patriots for the rights to their first born.  Everybody is a winner.

Time for more gender tests?

Posted in Breaking News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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It is never a good sign when you have to take a test to prove your gender.  It is even worse when it takes 3 weeks to figure out what is going on down there.  Caster Semenya will now need to check all of the above or none of the above on the next census.  Now that this is clear.  Who needs to take the test next?  Serena Williams has more testosterone flowing through her then the entire Nebraska offensive line last night.   Carolina should probably test Jake Delhomme after his 5 turnover game today.  Is there any reason not to test the entire Bengals team after losing at home to the Denver Broncos?  Rams should just quit while down 28-0 and line up at the free clinic.  We can probably go ahead and schedule A-Rod for this October.

Collinsworth likes them young

Posted in Douchebags with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Great piece of journalism here.  Terre Blair explores the myth that millionaire professional athletes do better with the ladies than your average factory worker.  Guess what?  They do.  I’m glad that mystery is solved.

Cris Collinsworth probably wants this one back.  He shares of technique of walking around with 100 dollar bills in his pocket and also talks about the high school girls.  It sounds like his 100 bill trick only works with girls ages 14-18 until they figure it out around their freshman year of college.  Now that he is replacing Madden.  Do you think we may have a new Collinsworth Cruiser?  Just a nice yellow school bus should do the trick.

Tila Tequila: A shake at love

Posted in Police Beat with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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If your friend decides to drink and drive, just take their keys.  Shawn Merriman might have been a bit overzealous in his actions.  Tila did not want to join Merriman and his two other girlfriends in private.  She simply took off her clothes and decided to leave.  Nothing wrong with that.  Merriman concerned for her safety went after her like she was Brady Quinn.  (By the way Browns, nobody cares which crappy qb you are starting.  They will still throw 3 interceptions a game and you will go 5-11.  Enough with the big mystery.) It appears that he grabbed her by the arms and shook her until she sobered up a bit.  Not sure if he threw in his stupid lights out dance but he did not appear to hurt her.  He may be forced to only date two women at a time instead of three once this gets out there.   Now the San Diego DA is saying that there are no charges to be filed.  Merriman will probably have to dip into his wallet and this will all go away.  Just like his career if he gets busted for roids again and her career once she hits 25.

Alabama Fan Loses It

Posted in Douchebags with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

College Football is back and what better way then to highlight the nice fan base from Alabama.  I’ll admit that I knew this was not going to be pretty when I received this link that simply stated Bama Fan.  Sure enough the jackass made a fool of himself with his pom poms and surprisingly without the aid of Jack Daniels.  Something tells me had a similar reaction during Obama’s speech last night.  This was game one.  Enjoy the season and learn how to swing a folding chair like a man.