5. Keira Knightley – Like I don’t already feel bad enough about not being able to get chicks. I have to stare at this hot stick figure that I could bench press. If someone would force a sandwich down her throat she would be an angel.
4. Lance Armstrong – OK I get it, you are the best athlete in the world. I’m getting tired of seeing you everywhere talking about how fit you are. I’m most pissed that I can’t get one of those Live Strong bracelets on my wrist.
3. Bill Gates – Not only are you skinny, you are also filthy rich. If I had the money you had I would buy a time machine, go back in time when you were a teenager and stick your head in a toilet. (P.S. Please don’t destroy our site)
2. Shawn Bradley – Really Shawn? You are 14 feet tall, you somehow made it into professional basketball, yet you can’t gain 50 pounds so you don’t get dunked on by every player in the NBA? Here is something that worked for me, try the Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger at Jack in the Box jackass.
1. Gandhi – Now don’t get angry here people, he was a great man that preached peace and understanding. However he also started the skinny trend, I guarantee you back in his day you could have heard this on the streets “Man, that Gandhi looks awesome. I think I’m going to skip the desert” Thanks a lot.