Archive for the Sports Category

Screw Philly

Posted in Sports with tags , , , on August 14, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Just when you ran out of reasons to hate all things Philly.  Michael Vick is back.  I really do not have a problem with a guy paying his debt to society and going after the best job he can find.  My problem is that the Eagles had to step up and welcome him back.  He didn’t kill anybody like Dante Stallworth but at least Stallworth is remorseful.  You can see that in his interview and I feel bad for the guy.  He deserves every bit of hard times and scorn that comes his way.  But at least he did not knowingly do this every day.  Michael Vick knew exactly what he was doing.  He was not impaired.  He was not remorseful.  He knew that his cousins took people’s pets and taped their mouths shut to get his pit bulls ready.  He knew that if the dog wasn’t vicious enough they would have to be put down.  He knew that if a dog is maimed too bad.  So Philly, don’t give me that crap about Vick now feels bad and wished it didn’t happen when he could have stopped it anytime.  I just can’t wait until Mcnabb one hops his next pass and you boo the hell out of him and cheer the Dog Killer.  Here is to DWare breaking him in half and making him fall back on his Va. Tech education.

New York Jets Draft Blunders

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

The 2009 NFL Draft is this weekend.  This is a great time if you are a football fan.  You can forget about your team choking in front of a third rate team in a forth rate state with fifth rate fans four months ago in Philly.  It is a great tradition to put aside the yard work.  Ignore your family and just sit on the couch and gaze at Mel Kipers’ helmet head for 9 hours.  To get you ready and in the right mindset, I have added the New York Jets draft blunders.

It is amazing that this franchise hasn’t won a Super Bowl since the 1960s.  Actually, it is pretty much to be expected.  You draft Ken O’Brian instead of Dan Marino.  Kyle Brady instead of Warren Sapp.  Blair Thomas instead of Emmitt Smith.  Dave Kadigan instead of Michael Irvin.  Two tight ends and a full back later you have nothing to show for this.  The sad thing is that if you just let your own fans up in the nose bleeds run your draft, you’d probably have three Super Bowls.  Sure, they have bad mustaches and terrible grooming habits but you cannot tell me these guys wouldn’t pull a Pro Bowl player out every round.

Here is my pick for you Jets fans.  Rey Mauluga LB USC.  He should be there at 17 and he will light people up for the next 7 years.

The Curse is over

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Harry Caray Statue Goat Curse Dead

I’ll admit that I was a bit nervous watching Kevin Gregg close and Derek Lee struggle to bat Karen Carpenter’s weight.  Not anymore.  I would like to thank the ghost of Harry Caray for finally putting an end to this ridiculous curse.  Hopefully, they found an open flame to finish that goat off once and for all.  Go Cubs Go.

Worst Boxer Eva

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , on April 6, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

HBO is running a documentary about the Ali-Frazier Thrilla in Manila fight this Saturday.  There has been plenty said about it so I want to move on and highlight Sutherland/Rainford I.   Brian Sutherland was a self described street fighter from South Carolina.  After seeing this pathetic display, I’m pretty sure he is doing his own dishes and picking up after himself.  Even Rihanna would probably not be scared to tell him he missed his exit on the interstate.  You would think that a state like South Carolina could put out a few decent street fighters.  I’m calling the people of South Carolina out.  What do you have to say for yourselves?

(Editors note. This fight video has circulated around the internet.  I am the one person who went the extra mile and found the English version.  Don’t be fooled by the cheap ripoffs in which they speak Canadian.)

March Madness Picks

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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There is nothing I hate more than the experts and jackasses in your office scrambling to see who is playing this year and then giving you their picks.  Ask them to name 5 college basketball players.  I will bet money they can not name two.  That being said I can name 3 players and one of them is named the white guy from North Carolina.

Here are my picks for today.  In the early games,  I will take the North Carolina Tarheels to beat the crappy school that nobody cares about by about 50 and then have UConn ass rape the Tennessee-Chatahoga by 60+.  The rest will be early scares but the favorites should win in all of them.  Don’t be tempted on BYU.  (Spoiler Alert) They are all white.

As for the Final Four.  Give me Pittsburgh, Carolina, Memphis and Lville.  Yes, it is boring.  I like Pitt over Memphis in the finals.  I searched for at least 10 minutes looking for a hot Pitt cheerleader for the article and as you can see I had to improvise.  Yes Kentucky, I know the girl is holding a football.  Leave me alone.  If anybody can find a hot pic of a Pitt cheerleader that does not look like the offspring of Dan Marino, please send it to me.  That guy must have ran through half the women in college.

Keep coming back.  I will somewhat live blog the games this week.  Let me hear who you got.

Biba Golic

Posted in Sports with tags , , , on March 5, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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I’ll be the first to admit that I really do not care about women’s sports.  Sure Anna Karakova or whatever her name was had a nice run in tennis but was she really that hot?  It is not that hard to stand out against Martina Navratralova, Billie Jean King and the Williams Brothers.

Biba Golic may change the perception of women’s athletics.  I first discovered her during the ESPN commercial that never stops but I think she has something.  More important is the fact that I think she is also a real person.  Sure her sport is played mainly in garages and YMCA basements but it technically is still a sport.  I imagine ESPN2 will be covering ping pong this summer.  Is ping pong politically correct or is it table tennis?

Weekend Picks

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Big weekend for the sports fan.  You had better enjoy this weekend to the fullest because there are absolutely no more sports on tv for months.  These picks are for entertainment purposes only.  Do not blame me when Luther is laying a pipe wrench to your kneecaps.  Here we go:

UFC: Penn vs GSP. This is the toughest fight to call in a long time.  GSP is heavily favored and should come in 15lbs larger than Penn.  If he can counter Penn’s jab, then it is going to be along night for BJ.  I’m hoping BJ can land a big shot and then submit the dirty Canadian.  I just do not see it happening.  GSP will take Penn down early and often and just overwhelm him with knees and elbows on the ground.  My prediction is GSP by ref stoppage in the 4th round.

Bonus pick.  Give me Clay Guida over Nate Diaz in what will be the most exciting fight of the night.  These guys will put on a show for three rounds but I see Guida winning a close decision.

Jennifer Hudson with the Over.  I have no idea who she is.  That is why she is going to sing the anthem as long as she possibly can.  The only concern is her cardio.  She does not appear to be able to take it much longer than 2 minutes but I think she sucks it up and delivers with a 2:14 anthem.  Easy money.

Take Santonio Holmes at 2/1 to be the first player to get arrested.  This will happen within 9 days after the Superbowl with a drunk and disorderly charge along with a minor weed possession.

Pittsburgh Steelers win easily.  The line is somewhere between 6 and 7.  It will not matter.  I see this being an easy victory for the Steelers.  The front 7 will stop the run while also putting pressure on Warner.  I would like for Warner to succeed but I see him turning the ball over at least 4 times with one going back for a TD.  The Steeler corners are not great but they will get safety help on LF, which will take him out of the game.  Do not under estimate the Cardinals’ defense but I think the Pitt defense and special teams turn this into a blowout.  My final Prediction.  Steelers 27 Cardinals 13