Archive for Humor

Tears of a Clown

Posted in Breaking News with tags , , , , on June 1, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

clown

Who said clowns are creepy?  Sure they scare little kids and freak out adults but does that make them creepy?  I have no idea what they are doing in this picture.  If you are going to carry a casket, you may want to use the somber face paint.  The guy in the red hair looks a little too happy right now to be putting Bozo in the ground.  I’m sure they have just traumatized another generation.  Nice going Clown.

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Greatest Business Card Ever

Posted in Financial with tags , , , , , , on April 15, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

I realize that most who come to this site have probably never seen a business card and probably have no idea why people use them.  I will try to explain it to the fine people of Kentucky.  A business card is similar to your mom writing her name and number on the Texaco men’s bathroom wall except it conveys a little more class then that.  I have brought the world’s greatest infotainer, Joel Bauer, on board to explain the proper use of the business card.  Enjoy.

Don’t mess with Wild Man

Posted in Breaking News with tags , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Just in case you ever want to rob the Wild Man’s Country Store in Hartsville, don’t mess with Kelly Simpson.  The Wild Man can take a lug wrench to the skull and still pop a cap in you.  Granted he tried to shot the guy in the face and ended up shooting 2 holes in his own window.  You still do not mess with Wild Man.  Let this be a warning.

Shaaazaaammm!!!!

Posted in TV with tags , , , , , , on February 5, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Who said used car dealers are sleazy?  This pimp actually uses his 8 year old daughter in the same 30 second ad that he uses real life Augusta, Georgia prostitutes.  If that is the quality of the hookers in Augusta, then you can probably save a few bucks and go with the Hyundai.  No need to try and impress these hoes by going big league with a Chrysler.  However, Syphilis is probably easier to get off of leather seats than cloth seats.  Dance!

Best Super Bowl Commercial

Posted in TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

This years Super Bowl commercials pretty much sucked.  How hard is it to put a Victoria Secret model in a bikini for 30 seconds?  That formula always seems to work.  If you are that low on money, just give Johnny Knoxville a ramp, a bottle of Jim Beam and a box of Russian fireworks.  He would not disappoint you.  Instead it was the same boring corporate marketing.

One commercial did stand out this year.  Big Ol’ Jon’s Car Lot really captured the country’s imagination.  Big Ol’ Jon is pretty much doing everything but date raping big city prices.  Enjoy.

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Casey Carlson American Idol

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , on January 16, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

casey66

First, I have no idea if this girl is 18 or not.  I assume she is 21 but if not I apologize to our deviant readers with legal problems.  Just let your neighbors know it may not be your fault this time and step back 200 yards from your computer.  Everything will be fine. The female above is Casey Carlson who is generating buzz for being on American Idol.

I guess American Idol has changed up the formula and decided to let hot girls on the show.  There is really not any ground left for this show to cover.  They have exploited every mentally retarded person outside of the Manning family.  Even Michael Bolton is embarrassed for the confused Kansas kid belting out the Motown classics.   I applaud American Idol for now doing what they should have done all along.  No more Clay Aiken, no more fat guy, no more ugly girl, no more the other guy, or that girl or any of the other nameless singers who won.  Bring on the swimsuits.  What is more American than exploiting hot college girls?  I may actually watch the show for the first time now.  Probably not but it is a step in the right direction.

Lil Bill vs Barney Frank

Posted in Financial with tags , , , , , on January 14, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Last post kind of bored me.  This one is so much better and timely.  Lil’ Bill debates Barney Frank on the financial crisis.  If you do not like Lil’ Bill, then you do not like America.