Archive for lindsay lohen

Lindsay Lohan Diet

Posted in diet, Entertainment Section with tags , , , on October 4, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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Quick disclaimer.  I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or dietitian.  However, I am able to recognize that something is not working for you Lindsay.  You are 23 years old and look like a 95 year old Sharon Stone.  How could this happen?  You are not working 60 hours a week at a coal mine.  You are not working at the Bunny Ranch.  You pretty much are not working period.  How could you reverse Benjamin Button it so quickly?

Let’s take a look at this.  I’m going to start with the Red Bull & Vodka which keeps your heart racing and your brain alert to enjoy more Red Bull & Vodka.  The cycle just never stops.  Replace that with water and get some sleep.  Next, cocaine should only be used for special occasions like the weekend.  Finally, switch from Marlboro to Marlboro Lites and only smoke them after 9am.  Again, there is nothing wrong with aging.  It is a natural human process.  However, Lindsay Lohan should not receive the senior citizen discount every time she eats at Denny’s.  Enough of the Golden Girls look.

PETA and Fur

Posted in Fashion World with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by Straight Cash Homey

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Nobody cares about fur Peta.  The only people who wear fur are pimps, rappers, Aretha Franklin, rich old white ladies and Lindsey Lohan.  That is about 25 people out of 3 billion.  Can you focus your hunger anger somewhere else?  It is not like Target has a fur coat section right next to the patio furniture department.  The fact is you have to be either super rich or a varmint hunter to wear fur.  Who is Lindsay Lohan hurting?  Maybe half of a chinchilla at the most gives it up for her skinny ass.  Peta gets even by throwing a bag of flour on her.  That is just mean.  Poor Lindsay’s cocaine nose has been twitching like the Bewitched lady for the last week because of you.  I wish that little boy she hangs with had put his foot up your ass.  Just mind your damn business and eat something.

Why do I care?  I really don’t.  I’m actually on Peta’s side in that Lindsey should not wear so much clothing in the first place.  I do not wear fur mainly because there are not enough rats in Harlem to outfit me in a coat.  If you really care about these animals, go after your neighborhood pimp.  Throw flour in his face.  Go after Snoop or the surviving members of WuTang.  See what happens to you when Snoop busts out his pimp hand.  I just want you to quit crying every time I eat brunch and stay away from my family sized bucket of chicken.  Unlike that little boy, I will put my foot up your ass.