Archive for nba

Khloe to Wed

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

whiteout premiere 100909

Many people on this very website criticized me for pointing out that Khloe was a large human being.  Well it looks like I am now vindicated.  I would have suggested for her to either mix in some stripes or camouflage but she took it to the next level.  Why change your wardrobe when you can marry a 6’11 260lb Lamar Odom?  They look really happy and I must say that she looks really good.  She should remove all of the pictures floating around of her and her sisters.  I think these two will make a great couple.  I’ve also heard that Al Davis has already traded another number one draft pick to the New England Patriots for the rights to their first born.  Everybody is a winner.

2008 Man of the Year

Posted in 2008 Year End Awards with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

It is finally here.  The world has been waiting for the 2008 TFPH Man of the Year which may be the most prestigious honor that we bestow on an individual.  My vote is tallied and here are the nominees.

  1. Charles Barkley–  The Chuckster ended the year strong.   Not only does he give us a reason to stay up and watch Clipper games but he is also giving back to society.  Despite the poor economy he was still willing to hire a young lady at 3 in the morning.  How many new jobs did you create in 2009?  That is what I thought.
  2. Barack Obama – Obama was named Time Magazine Person of the Year and becomes the first black President since William Mckinley.  He also inspired a Young Jeezy song that I cannot get out of my head.
  3. World’s Fattest Man – Manuel Uribe dropped 700lbs and got married.  He also introduced us to the term sex ramp which conjures up images of Evil Knievel and the porn industry.  The only drawback is the profit margin from  Taco Bell declined 70% in direct correlation with his weight loss.
  4. Artie Lange – 2008 was a tremendous roller coaster ride for Artie Lange.  He is the only reason to listen to the Stern show and became a best selling author with Too Fat to Fish.  The only thing slowing him down are cupcakes and heroin.

And the 2008 TFPH Man of the Year goes to….

Artie Lange.  Nobody is more entertaining on the late night talk shows than that baby gorilla.  He is a fifth of Jack Daniels away from sweeping the Trainwreck of the Year category (Click Here) but he managed to hold things together.  Let’s be thankful that they have not developed a cheese flavored heroin.  Here is Artie on Jimmy Kimmel.

2008 Marriage Proposal of the Year

Posted in 2008 Year End Awards with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

I have attended thousands of sporting events over the years.  I will a accept the over priced tickets, $20 parking and the fact that the 12oz beer that I downed out of the wax cup cost me $9.   The one thing that I will not accept is the douchebag that uses a break in action to propose to his girlfriend.  It was original the first time.  We do not need you to profess your love during a 20 second time out.

The 2008 Marriage Proposal of the Year will hopefully put an end to this trend.   I love how the girl rejects this clown like she’s Akeem Olajawon in his prime.  I’m guessing she dis not want her marriage proposal to come with the stench of Dikembe Mutombo in the air.  Let this be a lesson.  Leave me out of your marriage proposals and you will not have Tracy McGrady laughing at you or have to be consoled by the team mascot.

Mark Cuban and Insider Trading

Posted in Financial, Sports with tags , , , , , , , on November 17, 2008 by Straight Cash Homey

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It has been a tough year for Mark Cuban.  The Mavericks are a disaster and will be for years to come thanks to the idiotic Jason Kidd trade.  Major League Baseball does not want his money.  America did not care if he could dance. Now comes word that the SEC is investigating him for insider trading. I’ll break it down for you non Gordon Geckos out there.

The SEC is the Security and Exchange Commission and not the Southeastern Conference.  They regulate the stock market and do not give a shit that Alabama allowed star football player/retard Forrest Gump to graduate.  Insider Trading is similar to when the assistant manager at Golden Corral whispers to you that they do not have anymore Salisbury steak in the back.  This allows you to load up with 9 “steaks” on your plate leaving none for your wife.  Pretty simple and nobody gets hurt but the poor slob behind you.  In Cubans case, the poor slob was the jackass that bought his shares of stock for 750k more than they would have if they bought the next day when the news became public.  What does all this mean to Cuban?  He will probably have to pay the 750k gain back and a fine on those gains.  So, it is going to be like you leaving a penny in the ash tray at 7-11.  Not a big deal.  Move on.  Nothing to see.