Archive for Sports

Time for more gender tests?

Posted in Breaking News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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It is never a good sign when you have to take a test to prove your gender.  It is even worse when it takes 3 weeks to figure out what is going on down there.  Caster Semenya will now need to check all of the above or none of the above on the next census.  Now that this is clear.  Who needs to take the test next?  Serena Williams has more testosterone flowing through her then the entire Nebraska offensive line last night.   Carolina should probably test Jake Delhomme after his 5 turnover game today.  Is there any reason not to test the entire Bengals team after losing at home to the Denver Broncos?  Rams should just quit while down 28-0 and line up at the free clinic.  We can probably go ahead and schedule A-Rod for this October.

Collinsworth likes them young

Posted in Douchebags with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Great piece of journalism here.  Terre Blair explores the myth that millionaire professional athletes do better with the ladies than your average factory worker.  Guess what?  They do.  I’m glad that mystery is solved.

Cris Collinsworth probably wants this one back.  He shares of technique of walking around with 100 dollar bills in his pocket and also talks about the high school girls.  It sounds like his 100 bill trick only works with girls ages 14-18 until they figure it out around their freshman year of college.  Now that he is replacing Madden.  Do you think we may have a new Collinsworth Cruiser?  Just a nice yellow school bus should do the trick.

Tila Tequila: A shake at love

Posted in Police Beat with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Tila

If your friend decides to drink and drive, just take their keys.  Shawn Merriman might have been a bit overzealous in his actions.  Tila did not want to join Merriman and his two other girlfriends in private.  She simply took off her clothes and decided to leave.  Nothing wrong with that.  Merriman concerned for her safety went after her like she was Brady Quinn.  (By the way Browns, nobody cares which crappy qb you are starting.  They will still throw 3 interceptions a game and you will go 5-11.  Enough with the big mystery.) It appears that he grabbed her by the arms and shook her until she sobered up a bit.  Not sure if he threw in his stupid lights out dance but he did not appear to hurt her.  He may be forced to only date two women at a time instead of three once this gets out there.   Now the San Diego DA is saying that there are no charges to be filed.  Merriman will probably have to dip into his wallet and this will all go away.  Just like his career if he gets busted for roids again and her career once she hits 25.

Alabama Fan Loses It

Posted in Douchebags with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

College Football is back and what better way then to highlight the nice fan base from Alabama.  I’ll admit that I knew this was not going to be pretty when I received this link that simply stated Bama Fan.  Sure enough the jackass made a fool of himself with his pom poms and surprisingly without the aid of Jack Daniels.  Something tells me had a similar reaction during Obama’s speech last night.  This was game one.  Enjoy the season and learn how to swing a folding chair like a man.

March Madness Picks

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

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There is nothing I hate more than the experts and jackasses in your office scrambling to see who is playing this year and then giving you their picks.  Ask them to name 5 college basketball players.  I will bet money they can not name two.  That being said I can name 3 players and one of them is named the white guy from North Carolina.

Here are my picks for today.  In the early games,  I will take the North Carolina Tarheels to beat the crappy school that nobody cares about by about 50 and then have UConn ass rape the Tennessee-Chatahoga by 60+.  The rest will be early scares but the favorites should win in all of them.  Don’t be tempted on BYU.  (Spoiler Alert) They are all white.

As for the Final Four.  Give me Pittsburgh, Carolina, Memphis and Lville.  Yes, it is boring.  I like Pitt over Memphis in the finals.  I searched for at least 10 minutes looking for a hot Pitt cheerleader for the article and as you can see I had to improvise.  Yes Kentucky, I know the girl is holding a football.  Leave me alone.  If anybody can find a hot pic of a Pitt cheerleader that does not look like the offspring of Dan Marino, please send it to me.  That guy must have ran through half the women in college.

Keep coming back.  I will somewhat live blog the games this week.  Let me hear who you got.

Buffalo Jills Hit Iraq

Posted in World News with tags , , , , , on February 17, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

Buffalo Jill

The Buffalo Bills sent their cheerleaders (The Jills) to Iraq to visit the troops.  They did a great job cheering on the Bills to all of those Super Bowl victories in the 90s.  What better place to send them then to Iraq?  The girl in the above picture might try playing a little harder to get.  This isn’t the La Quinta lobby in Up State New York.  You are in freaking Baghdad.  Women in Iraq get their heads cut off for showing too much eyelash.  Unless, Uday or Qusay Hussein show back up, you might want to tone it down a little in the hotel lobby.  You don’t have to advertise like you are going out of business on President’s Day.  Just sit there with your legs crossed and guys will approach you.  Women at the Bunny Ranch are more modest than that.

Super Broker Shuffle

Posted in Entertainment Section with tags , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

How did this video escape me for the last 24 years?  Grocery brokers from the South in a rap video from 1985? Come on.  Why haven’t I heard of this?   I am guessing it is because rap music was illegal in the south until a few years ago.  You need to fight past the first 20 seconds and you will thank me.  I have not decided which rapper is my favorite.  I love Charlie Carlson throwin it down at :48 or Jesse Franklin pimping his nuts at 1:40.  I think my favorite part is thugged out James Falls telling you to go to hell at 2:43.  Make no mistake James Falls is not here to coo and cuddle.