Archive for texas

Oprah Visits Texas State Fair

Posted in fat people with tags , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2009 by Straight Cash Homey

fried butter balls

If you build it, fatties will come.  For years the Texas fair has deep fried everything that anybody south of the Red River could think of as being somewhat edible.  For the first time, some genius came up with frying butter.  I have no idea how this works.  In theory you would just end up slurping up melted butter and grease.  The picture above actually looks pretty good.  You use some form of dough and then wrap butter inside and drop it into the fry daddy.  Pretty simple and pretty amazing that this hasn’t been thought of before now.   It also took Oprah all of a week to hear about this latest food idea and bring her show to Texas.  The last time she came to Texas she was hauled into court for driving the prices of beef down.  All she did was said she wasn’t eating beef and the price dropped.  I never thought she’d come back to Texas but that was before deep fried butter.

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The Bachelor:Pro Bass Fisherman

Posted in TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2008 by Straight Cash Homey

Reality Show Arrest

I honestly have no idea who this is other than the fact that she is drunk, hot and in a Del Rio, Texas jail.  Not bad.  Who is she?  My research staff tells me it is Mary Delgado who was in the reality show The Bachelor. (She is 41by the way)  Her prize for winning The Bachelor was professional bass fisherman Bryon Velvick.  Wow what a catch!  A professional bass fisherman!   No wonder why she’s a drunken mess.  Even professional bowlers and rodeo clowns look down on professional bass fisherman.  Poor dude probably clears about 13k a year and comes home smelling like fish every day.

Ladies, this is how you end up in a jail in Del Rio, Texas.  You win Long John Silver on a reality show and he drags you to a lake to root him on while he spends 8 hours fishing.  I don’t blame her for knocking a few back to ease her pain.  But how drunk do you have to be to offend degenerates in a border town bar?  Mary, you are better than that.  I have $50 in bail money and a bus ticket that I’m sending your way.  Congratulations.  You earned it.

Texas Tech Post Game Celebration

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , on November 3, 2008 by Straight Cash Homey

A little post game celebrating and grave dancing.

Shocker on the South Plains

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2008 by Straight Cash Homey

This is how you rip the #1 team in the country’s heart out on national tv.  You don’t go for game winning field goals.  Go for the throat and good things happen.

Product Review: Jimmy Dean 12 oz. Sausage

Posted in Health Food with tags , , , , , , on November 1, 2008 by Straight Cash Homey

We have a new feature for our column.  Our East Texas correspondent, Randy Taylor, reviews the Jimmy Dean 12 oz. Regular Sausage Roll.  For our readers up north, Mr. Taylor will not review your Sage or Maple Flavored Sausage.  He is a Texas man therefore; he is only going to review the Regular flavor.  Please do not ask.